In my meditation this morning, there was a line that said;
All is well
However, what if we don't feel like all is well? Can we feel that all is well when we feel out of sorts?
Another line in my meditation was:
Focus on what is working in my life
You know, as I started to do this I did realise that actually all is well in my life, even if there are parts of it that might not be in the place that I'd like them to be right now. As I reflected and sat deeper with this question; can I honestly say ‘all is well’, even when things in my life don’t feel it?
I started to focus on what is well rather than focusing on what isn't well in my life. I have a loving partner, family, home, food on my table. There is just so much in my life that I can honestly say that all is well. And for the parts of my life where I can't say all is well at this moment, I have hope one day I will be able to.
Our brain's thinking is to default to ‘all is not ok’ and psychologists call this the negative bias.
But as I am writing this a thought comes into my mind, I'm not convinced that we can always have every area of our lives where we want them to be simultaneously. That’s just not how life is. It's never been like that in my life, and I'm sure you're the same.
Our brain's thinking is to default to ‘all is not ok’ and psychologists call this the negative bias. “The negativity bias, also known as the negativity effect, is the notion that, even when of equal intensity, things of a more negative nature have a greater effect on one's psychological state and processes than neutral or positive things." Source: Wikipedia
For example, you get great feedback from your boss on a project you delivered, except for one tiny piece of negative feedback that would have made it a perfect delivery. It is the negative thing that you remember most, not the great feedback. Our natural way is to tune into thinking the negative first.
We need to sit with our feelings, really explore them, and actually train our brains to sit and think of the positives and be grateful. We might find that more is a-ok in our lives than we thought.
So can we say’ all is well’ even though it’s not true for every area of our lives?
Yes, absolutely we can but we have to choose to do it. It is something we have to work at, maybe even fight for. It might even feel like we are fighting against our brain's natural default system to think negatively. Perhaps we will always have to work at this. That has certainly been my experience and continues to be.
I hope that when you reflect and think about your life you can see the areas where you can say ‘all is well’ and you can focus on them. Through this process you will also see the areas in your life where you can't say ‘all is well’ at the moment and hopefully you will be comforted that in time they will be. Remember, that's how life is and will always be; full of ups and downs.
A final thought is that maybe sometimes we can't say ‘all is well’ because we need to make some changes in our lives for us to be able to say it.
We’re stuck in a relationship, job, or friendship that’s toxic, or we are just not fulfilling our purpose. We know deep within us that something has to change for us to be able to say ‘all is well’.
I’ll leave that with you, thank you for taking the time to read my musings. If you want to explore this more with me, please get in touch.